


With You Beside Me

by ausfil



Category: Westlife
Genre: Boys In Love, Caring, Codependency, Crying, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 11:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10920480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ausfil/pseuds/ausfil
Summary: Shane promised that he would be beside his boyfriend through thick and thin. He plans to stick to that when Nicky loses his father.





	With You Beside Me

**Author's Note:**

> I started and finished writing this the same day I lost my grandfather which was three weeks ago, and I wasn’t planning to upload it because I couldn’t really bring myself to read through it to edit but here it is anyway. No idea if it’s good or not, sorry. As I said, I didn’t read through it properly.  
> I received supportive messages on twitter and to those people, I would like to say thank you again (if some of them read my stories on here). It meant a lot to me.
> 
> I mean absolutely zero disrespect in any way to the Byrne family.
> 
> My heart goes out to anyone who has suffered a loss recently, or even if it was years ago, I wish you all the best in the sincerest way possible.

The morning Sun was blinding in Shane’s eyes when he woke up to the screeching alarm. He turned it off with one hand, scrubbed his face with the other before lifting his head up and looking sideways, at the empty and cold space on the bed beside him. His heart clenched immediately as he hurried out from underneath the blankets and from the bedroom.

“Nicky?” He called, poking his head out of the doorway, but his boyfriend couldn’t be seen. The steps he took quickened as he rushed down the stairs, his heart clenching even more when he found Nicky. “Sweetie…”

Nicky didn’t move. He stayed still, sitting down at the kitchen table, elbows leaning on the top and his face buried in trembling hands. Shuddering breaths could be heard, a heavy – almost unbearable – weight forcing down those already-slumped shoulders, both men feeling suffocated in the blue ambiance that radiated across the room.

Shane took quiet steps, sat himself down beside Nicky and put a silent arm around his shoulder.

“He’s not coming back, is he? He’s not… He’s not coming back. I’m never going to see him again…” Nicky finally spoke, a lump in his throat that seemed permanent, his voice hoarse and weak from the unstoppable crying the day before.

“I’m sorry, babe.” Shane sighed and turned his body a bit to hug him tight, to rub the back of his head and to spread warmth to his heart. “How long have you been awake for? You should’ve woken me up as well.”

Nicky shook his head, buried in Shane’s solacing shoulder. “Didn’t want to bother you.”

“What do you mean? It won’t bother me at all. I want to be here for you through this. Through _everything_. Okay? I’m here for you no matter what.” Shane kissed Nicky’s hair.

“Thank you.” Nicky could barely say through his wavering voice, and that brought Shane back to last night, the phone call that he would never forget.

 

He had been out for a drink in London with Kian after a long day of promo when he got the phone call from Nicky. A deafening silence, a heaving sob, then a weak “Shane…” was mumbled. Nicky could barely talk, all the sobs and sniffles and wails getting in the way. Shane hadn’t even known what was going on but felt himself get teary, just listening to his love in pain. His heart was caught in his throat with not even an inch of space to budge.

“Nicky, what– Sweetie, just… just breathe for me.” He had said and breathed to clear his own muddled mind. Kian had been looking at him with widened eyes, startled, a supportive hand already on his friend’s knee. He heard a slow breath, followed by another heartbreaking sob. “Tell me what happened. What’s wrong?”

Then Nicky had slowly managed to make out the words. Shane could barely get through listening without letting a tear roll down his cheek, or a lot, but he tried his best to keep his voice together for Nicky who was bawling, telling him about the tragedy – about his father, about the sudden heart attack. He had stood up immediately, keeping Nicky on the phone and trying not to cry while Kian had driven them to the hotel, breaking red lights.

The plane ride back to Dublin had been the hardest part. Tears. Inconsolable. A lot of hugging. And more tears.

 

Now, Nicky was doing a bit better – better than the previous night at least. In Shane’s arms, he could breathe, he could think, he could cry, he could do anything and know for a fact that he was safe and loved. The gentle hand running through his hair ever so lovingly, then down his spine, soothing him, was the best feeling when he started to shed a tear or two, his face still buried in strong shoulders.

“It’s okay. I’m here.” Shane whispered after a while of just letting Nicky cry as he held back tears of his own by biting down hard on his trembling lips. Seeing Nicky on the verge of breaking apart and shutting off, a piece of Shane felt like breaking each time too. It was almost as painful to watch, but he was also prepared to do just about anything to comfort the love of his life. He could not be the one to cry as well in this situation. He tightened his arms around the sobbing man.

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye properly...” Nicky mumbled through his clumped throat. “I should’ve been a better son.”

“What are you talking about? Sweetie, look at me.” Shane stared deep into morose blue eyes that stared back, his thumb wiping away the tears that slowly began to die down. “You were the most amazing, thoughtful, beautiful son to him. He was so proud of you, and I’m sure he always will be, no matter where he is.”

Nicky nodded, sniffling and nuzzling into Shane’s palm that caressed his cheek. “He will be.”

“Without a doubt.” Shane displayed the warmest smile and kissed his boyfriend’s forehead before hugging him again, hearing the softened and calmed breaths against his ear. He felt a small smile tickle his lips in relief. “Do you want breakfast? We should probably eat before we head over to your mam’s place.”

Nicky shook his head. “I don’t feel like eating.”

“But you haven’t eaten a single thing since yesterday morning. Not even water.” Shane ran his hands through crunchy hair that he smoothed earlier, settling down in the middle of Nicky’s back and rubbing tiny circles. “You have to eat _something_ , Nico. It’s not good for ye.”

Nicky shook his head again, closing his eyes and concealing himself in Shane’s shoulder.

“Please?” Nicky was silent. Shane felt his tongue worry between his teeth, holding back a heavy sigh. “Nicky, please.” He attempted once more, but still got no reply. The sigh threatened to come out again. He had to swallow it back down to the pit of his stomach.

“I don’t want to.” The response that came was a whisper, almost inaudible, breaking Shane’s heart at how feeble it sounded.

“Okay, well, how about some water at least?” Shane dipped his head down to kiss the top of Nicky’s head.

After a bit of silence, Nicky nodded at last and Shane pulled back from the hug to reach for a bottle and open the cap before Nicky could change his mind. He felt a bit relieved as he watched Nicky chugging down the cool water, like a thirsty, homeless puppy that needed nothing but love and support. He beamed when Nicky put the bottle back down and looked at him. “Good boy. Thank you.” Shane crooned, earned a small twitch from the corner of Nicky’s perpetually downturned lips. “Still no food?”

Nicky shrugged, visibly seeming much better after the water that calmed him down.

“Come on.” Shane saw the chance and leaped. He stood up and took Nicky’s hands. “Tell me anything you want and I’ll make it for you.”

“And what can you even cook?” Nicky chuckled weakly, but that was enough to make Shane happier, to make him feel at ease.

“Hey, I’ll have you know that I helped my parents a lot when they were running the café. Now, come on. Pick something.” Shane tugged at Nicky’s hand, making him stand up and face each other.

They looked at each other for a short while, a million emotions streaming through.

“Thank you, Shane.” Nicky smiled through his glistening, reddened eyes and felt tears threaten him again. “For… for everything. For being here.”

“You know I’d do anything for you.” Shane stepped closer and gently caressed Nicky’s chin, leaning in for a short kiss. “I’m always here.”

Nicky nodded. “I love you. Always.” He whispered.

“Always.” Shane whispered back and draped his arms around the small figure.

“Always…” Nicky echoed as he let out a heavy breath and closed his eyes, just letting himself get lost in Shane’s warm embrace for a bit.


End file.
